Learn to say "no"

Self-discipline: being “tolerant with others and strict with yourself.”—Marcus Aurelius

What we do and say is the only thing that is in our control, so we must be strict with ourselves. On the contrary, we have little to no control over other’s beliefs or behaviors, so it is imperative that we do not waste energy attempting to change how they think or act.

This ties into something important that I have realized within the last couple of years: the importance of saying “no.” Growing up, I watched the comedy movie, “Yes Man,” starring Jim Carrey. The film centers around Carl (Jim Carrey) who is stuck in a rut due to his negative ways. He ends up going to a self-help seminar where he learns the power of the word “yes” and decides to say “yes” instead of "no" to every opportunity that comes his way. This quickly results in him getting a job promotion, finding love, and picking up a wide array of exciting hobbies and new friends. Due to the film’s premise and positive trajectory, I spent the next decade pretty much saying “yes” to almost everything in hopes of newfound opportunities and experiences.

“Do you want to go to the bar?”

“How about an expensive trip to another country?”

“Let’s go to the casino!”

“How about we go see that new movie?”

“Yes, yes, yes, and yes!”

While all these propositions led to fun experiences, I have discovered within the last couple of years that being more selective, focused, and driven by saying no to certain activities and propositions will lead to an entirely different set of opportunities.

By sacrificing nights out at the bar, unhealthy habits, unnecessary pleasure, wasteful expenditures and so on, we can form a level of self-discipline that will lead to immense wealth, respect, admiration, and unlock unexpected potential and capabilities for ourselves and even create new opportunities for those around us.

Often, we cave into unhealthy vices as a reaction to stressors in our daily lives. By developing the strength to say no to these temptations, we will undoubtedly create a reality for ourselves in which we can deal with any stress that comes our way. The goal is not eliminating stress entirely from our lives. Stress is great and even healthy for growth as well as becoming stronger and better men, husbands, sons, brothers, and so on. A man’s ability to deal with stress directly determines how much success he will be able to achieve when its all said and done. Inability to deal with such will result in easily giving up, avoiding challenges, and a weak mindset in facing adversity. In conclusion, developing the will power to say "no" will allow us to unlock new mental and physical capabilities and open numerous doorways and opportunities in ways that saying “yes” to everything simply won't.